The Null Device

At an outdoor concert in Warwickshire, Australian pop star Dannii Minogue tried to alert the audience to a capsized boat in the lake behind them, by pointing frantically over their heads. Her fans, however, began pointing back, thinking it was a new dance move:

Teenage fan Gemma Jones, 13, said she had not realised anything was wrong. "I saw her doing this strange move which was not like her normal dance routines. I thought it might be some new sort of dance craze and started copying," Jones said.

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Seemingly going for the Pauline Hanson demographic, disposable Australian celebrity Dannii Minogue (she's the less talented one, apparently) recently was quoted ranting about Asian immigration and liberal policies in a British men's magazine. "Even some of the street signs are in Asian!", she is quoted as having opined, before coming down on Blair for being soft on crime, blaming crime on foreigners, and stating that French right-winger Jean-Marie Le Pen "struck a chord with people".

"She may have somewhat controversial political views but at least she has the defence of being Australian," he said.

There you have it; Australia is now seen as the new South Africa, that rough redneck cowboy state somewhere in the godforsaken Southern Hemisphere, where bigotry and narrow-mindedness are par for the course. If you're an Australian, people pretty much expect you to be racist, reactionary and xenophobic (and probably to scratch your arse in public and spit on the floor as well). Remember that next time you're in Europe, and give thanks to Pauline and Johnny.

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